


newest

by starkesthour



Series: newmoon oneshots [4]
Category: K-pop, The Boyz (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, M/M, Youtuber AU, but not really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-02
Updated: 2018-09-02
Packaged: 2019-07-05 17:34:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15868437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starkesthour/pseuds/starkesthour
Summary: He's not a stalker. He's just...passionate.





	newest

**Author's Note:**

> my friend asked: newmoon youtuber au???  
> to which i responded: sure???????
> 
> this is kinda weird

Kevin gets the notification on his phone while he's walking back to the dorms, three folders of loose sheet music tucked under his arm because he forgot his backpack again. He recognizes the vibration pattern and reaches for his pocket automatically, heart skipping. He only has one channel on notifications.

In a confluence of unfortunate events, Kevin's folders slip from his grasp and he misses the step up from the sidewalk to his building, and his phone tumbles out of his pocket and clatters on the concrete a few feet away. Kevin goes down hard on one knee, flinging his hand out to catch the railing for support, though it's already too late and fuck, that's definitely his knee scraped and bleeding under his jeans.

Embarrassingly enough that's how Juyeon finds him a moment later, freshly showered and coming out of the dorms. He helps Kevin to his feet, gathers the sheet music that's scattered on the sidewalk while Kevin stoops to pick up his phone. "You sure you're okay, man?" he asks, and his tone tells Kevin that he'd absolutely be late to class if Kevin needed help walking up the stairs to their room.

"I'm fine, really," Kevin tells him. "You're gonna be late, you should go."

Juyeon watches him limp up the few steps to the front door of the building warily. "You're sure?"

"I'm sure," Kevin says. He remembers belatedly what caused his tumble in the first place, and he'd rather be alone to watch Chanhee's new video anyway. His heart does that fluttery little skip again. He's watched Chanhee's videos religiously for three years, and the excitement he feels with each upload hasn't diminished at all. To Jacob, he calls Chanhee his internet boyfriend. To everyone else, he keeps his obsession quiet, like a dirty secret, because it's admittedly weird, and Chanhee's content is a bit weird, and no one would really understand.

Kevin makes his way up to his room as quickly as he can, ignoring the throbbing in his knee. He dumps all his stuff onto the foot of the bed and collapses into his desk chair, twirling quickly to boot up his laptop and open the browser. Chanhee's channel is one of the frequently visited links on his homepage.

**collab 1 (don't panic)**

In the three years Kevin has watched Chanhee's sporadic videos, and the two years before that, Chanhee has never done a typical YouTube collab. Some of his early vlogs, from back in high school, featured his friends, but that was before Chanhee had a following. It was just Chanhee and a guy rehearsing scenes from theater class and giggling, changing the lines to make it inappropriate for a high school stage.

Those videos have since been made private. Everything from before Chanhee's big rebrand—the year he started college—has disappeared from the internet, and Chanhee doesn't have the kind of dedicated followers that would save his videos and share them around. Except for Kevin, that is, but at the time, Kevin didn't know how to save videos off of the internet.

The new video starts with Chanhee's simple intro, just _new'est_ written across the screen, and then Chanhee appears. He's sitting on the floor of his new apartment--there are still boxes behind him, and the room looks pretty bare.

"Hey guys," he says. "Don't panic. I'm not turning into one of those stupid collab channels with brand deals and guests and animated endscreens."

"Hey!" comes another voice from off camera.

Chanhee ignores the voice and continues, "I haven't seen my friend Changmin in a while and I want him to do my makeup, so here we go."

Kevin rolls his eyes. Chanhee is pretty shitty at marketing himself; Kevin isn't so far gone on him that he can't recognize that. "Boyfriend/Girlfriend Does My Makeup" tags are all the rage, and if Chanhee retitled his video, he'd probably get a huge influx of new viewers. But popularity has never been Chanhee's goal.

There's a cut, and then Chanhee and a guy are sitting on the floor together, facing each other. And it's Q—Changmin. Kevin doesn't even watch beauty vlogs and dance covers and he knows who he is; Q's practically a household name, at least in terms of internet fame. Chanhee really should've put his name in the title. And his face in the thumbnail. He'd get a few thousand new subscribers in a heartbeat.

Kevin picks his jaw up off the floor and settles in to watch the video, his throbbing knee fading to the back of his mind in favor of staring at Chanhee's stupidly beautiful face. Kevin rests his chin on his hand and sighs. He doesn't even find makeup videos remotely interesting, but Chanhee and Changmin are goofing off together. Changmin is giggling at all of Chanhee's jokes, and they're chatting softly about nothing in particular. It's a meandering, pointless sort of video, but Kevin is _engaged_. He hasn't seen Chanhee interact with anyone in years, and it's pretty wonderful to see how his sense of humor spurns more when he's not alone. It's clear he and Changmin are real friends, too, not just fake YouTuber friends. They own their inside jokes and are comfortable enough to tease each other and laugh it off.

And then, like a bolt of lightning striking, Kevin realizes that Changmin is the guy from Chanhee's old vlogs, the deleted ones. The ones that only had a few hundred views. Changmin, before he was famous, was friends with Chanhee in high school. Changmin and Chanhee went to the same high school. _Changmin_.

Kevin pauses the video and opens a new tab. Chanhee is notoriously private and secretive about things like where he's from—Kevin figured he was from Jeollanam-do, based on the familiar accent and some of Chanhee's offhand comments about the weather and seeing concerts of artists heading to Gwangju and Jeonju—but Changmin's famous enough to have a Wikipedia page.

Kevin's not a stalker. He's just...passionate.

 _Ji "Q" Chang Min (지창민) (born November 05, 1998), is a Korean fashion and beauty vlogger and dancer_ , blah blah blah— _and was raised in Jeonju_.

Kevin's breath catches. He and Chanhee are from the same province—and lived an hour apart to boot. He looks up colleges in the area, because Chanhee lived at home during college and only moved into his own place a few weeks ago—not that Kevin kept track. He just remembers. Like he remembers that Chanhee was studying music and graduated earlier this year.

_He currently resides in Gangnam with his dog._

Chanhee moved to Seoul. _Chanhee moved here_.

Kevin forces himself to take a deep breath, calm down his stuttering pulse, because it's possible that Changmin was just visiting home and Chanhee found an apartment somewhere in Jeonju. It's possible. But it's much more likely that Chanhee graduated from school and moved out to Seoul to pursue music.

Or maybe Kevin's just hoping.

He clicks back to the video and zones out while Changmin brushes powders and glitter all over Chanhee's face. Kevin's brain is buzzing with excitement. He knows a secret. Something no one else knows about Chanhee. Not that he'd ever leak that sort of information—and not that Chanhee has enough fans to even care where he went to school or where he lives—but the knowledge is...thrilling. Even more thrilling is the idea that he and Chanhee could run into each other one day.

Seoul is a big city. It won't happen. But it might. Jeonju's a much smaller city. Maybe Kevin should fly home for the holidays.

The video nears its end, and the big reveal is less of a reveal and more just Chanhee shuffling closer to the camera to admire Changmin's work in the view screen. There aren't any cuts or close-ups or anything, just Chanhee leaning in, tilting his head so the glitter catches the light. He runs his tongue lightly over his rosy, pink lips and pouts, blows a kiss at the camera. In the background, Changmin laughs and says, "You can keep the lipstick if you like it that much."

Chanhee looks stunning in Changmin's makeup, with his trademark heavily done-up eyes, and it's obvious he loves how it came out too. He compliments Changmin's work under the guise of admiring himself, then pulls him close, so their faces take up the whole screen. He plants a soft, weirdly sensual kiss on Changmin's cheek.

"Leave a comment if you want Chanhee to do more collabs!" Changmin says. "Maybe I can convince him to meet some of my friends."

Chanhee blows a raspberry. "Nope. Back to our regularly un-scheduled programming. I should have a haul video for you all next week once I buy a bunch of shit for my apartment. It's gonna look cute. Maybe. Can't wait. Bye!"

The video ends just like that, no endscreen, no music, no link to Changmin's channel, none of the "comment, like, subscribe" spiel that Kevin's accustomed to from other YouTubers. It's one of the things Kevin loves about Chanhee. In all these years, he hasn't changed much at all.

Kevin lets YouTube autoplay some of Chanhee's related videos while he digs through his desk for a textbook. Most of Chanhee's popular videos are weird, long ASMR videos where he talks softly, close to the microphone, about a bunch of different things like solving math equations and reading rude comments. He also plays with crystals and glasses and anime figurines. His fingernails make soft tapping and clinking noise as he touches them and shows the camera, and while the ASMR doesn't particularly do much for Kevin, physically, he does enjoy letting Chanhee's smooth and soothing voice keep him company while he does his homework.

Two hours later, Kevin's finished copying out a study guide for his upcoming Experimental Psychology exam and writing an outline for his Intro to Film essay, and he's fully absorbed in YouTube videos once more. He clicks on one of his favorites, a half-hour long haul video where Chanhee brings out a ton of CDs and records and describes the music in detail.

It doesn't matter how many times Kevin watches this video, he's always tickled by the enthusiasm in Chanhee's voice every time he takes something new out of his shopping bag. It's not an ASMR video, so he's talking in his chest voice, and he gets louder when he's excited. He even breaks out into singing a few times, mimicking the vocal samples in his favorite new EDM tracks.

Back when Chanhee first posted this video, Kevin checked out all of his album recommendations. A lot of them weren't really his thing, but he didn't care, downloaded them all and listened to them anyway. The songs have grown on him, over time, and it's fascinating to hear the words Chanhee uses to describe trance beats that all sort of blend together for Kevin. Somehow, Chanhee finds these songs unique and interesting and genius, and Kevin's determined to appreciate them too.

The door opens and Juyeon comes in, loudly talking on his phone and interrupting Kevin's daily "stare longingly at Chanhee" session, and Kevin quickly pauses the video and minimizes the browser.

"Are you watching ASMR again?" Juyeon asks, not quite laughing.

Kevin flushes red. Juyeon's only been his roommate for a month and a half. He really thought he'd kept his obsession with Chanhee on the down low.

Thankfully, Juyeon isn't really paying attention to him. He's listening to the person on the other line as he dumps his messenger bag on his bed and sits down to take off his shoes. After a while, he says goodbye and hangs up, and then his focus is fully on Kevin.

"You don't have to be embarrassed of it, y'know," he says. "I mean, I don't get it, but I'm not gonna judge."

"It wasn't ASMR," Kevin grumbles.

"So, listen," Juyeon says, brushing off Kevin's denial. "I'm going to this party later, and you should come. Meet some people. Get out of the dorms, y'know? Be social. With more than just your classmates."

"I have friends," Kevin replies, pouting defensively.

"You can always use more. C'mon, I know you're done with your homework if you're watching weird YouTube videos and scouring the deep web. Come with me tonight. It'll be fun."

Kevin agrees, mostly to get Juyeon off his back, but also because Juyeon's right: he doesn't get out much, and he can always use more friends. Maybe it will be fun.

*

That evening, Kevin's a couple drinks in and listening politely as a grad student explains her very complicated thesis. Her name is Haseul. She's studying philosophy, he thinks, and half of what she's saying is going right over his head, but Juyeon chimes in with actually coherent questions every now and then to keep the conversation going, and Kevin is happy to let their arguments wash over him.

He's met a few people tonight, talked to a few more he recognized from past classes, and he's kind of ready to be done with this party. Until he hears a familiar pitched laugh from somewhere to his left.

He whips around, startled, and says, "Changmin?"

He's too loud. Changmin hears him and turns, and Kevin watches him plaster on a boxy smile that doesn't look completely genuine. Kevin's drawn toward him as if by magnetic force, and as he approaches Changmin says, "Hi, how are you!" in a bright, bubbly voice.

"Sorry, I just—I'm Kevin. I recognized you from Chanhee's video."

His expression shifts into one of surprise. "You know Chanhee?"

"No, I—just his videos." He shouldn't have said that. He can feel a flush rising up the sides of his neck. His ears are burning.

This time Changmin breaks into a real smile. "That's awesome. I didn't know he had fans. I mean, like..."

"No, I know," Kevin cuts in quickly. "He's not really famous, I get it. I'm sorry for being weird and awkward and talking about him. It's good to meet you, though. I'll just—"

"No, no, no!" he says, grabbing Kevin's arm with both hands to keep him from walking away. "I don't think he's ever met a fan before, come here, I could introduce—"

Kevin's blood runs hot and then icy cold. He follows the line of Changmin's gaze and his eyes land on Chanhee—Chanhee across the room, standing still against the wall with a drink held up to his face. He's nodding at someone, listening intently while they talk, and he looks beautiful. Soft, fluffy hair, silver and black rings glinting around the red solo cup. He's smaller in person, slender and narrow, but taller than Kevin expected, too. Even at the darkened edge of the room, despite the haze that's coming from the kitchen, he looks like he's glowing.

Kevin wrenches his arm out of Changmin's grasp. "I can't, sorry, I have to go, uh. I'm sorry—"

Before Changmin can chase after him, Kevin darts across the room and grabs Juyeon with a hurried, "Gotta go, right now," and ushers him to the door. He turns to look over his shoulder one last time before ducking out and he sees Changmin and Chanhee standing together. He's leaning closer to listen to Changmin. He's probably telling Chanhee all about his strange encounter with some crazed fan. Any second now he's going to point Kevin out and Kevin will never be able to live down this terrible first impression. He has to leave, right now.

Juyeon waits until they're walking down the street alone before confronting him. "What the hell was that?"

Kevin doesn't know how to explain in a way that won't make him seem like a stalker. He pauses for a breath. Finally he settles on, "I saw someone that I kind of know, and I didn't want him to see me there. Um. Sorry for rushing you out."

Juyeon forgives him, because beyond the intimidating and aloof exterior he's actually a good guy, and then he starts offering advice on how to come to terms with a break-up, how to stay friends with exes, how to get over heartbreak, and Kevin appreciates it, he really does, but none of Juyeon's well-meaning advice esentially applies to his situation. It's his own fault for being vague and so cowardly though, so he keeps silent.

*

**collab 2, the reckoning**

In the weeks following the almost-encounter, Kevin has almost managed to push the awkwardness from his mind. He's still a little on edge, hyper-aware that he could run into Chanhee or Changmin at any moment, but the anxiety about it has died down. Changmin and Chanhee probably don't live that close to campus, considering they don't actually go to school here, and Kevin hardly ever leaves campus, so chances are slim that he'll run into them on the street.

It's been two and a half weeks since Chanhee's last video, the promised haul of knickknacks and small appliances for his new apartment. Really, if he was a little more consistent about posting content, his subscriber count would grow. Kevin sometimes wishes he could manage Chanhee's channel for him, just to give him the following he deserves. He's beautiful and talented and funny, and more people should appreciate him, that's all.

"Hey guys," says Chanhee in the new video. He's sitting on his bed, hunched over his computer and using the shitty webcam, wearing a hoodie pulled low over his forehead. The sleeves are covering his hands too, and his gestures seem syrupy, lackluster. Kevin leans closer to the blare of the screen, as if he could reach out and comfort Chanhee that way.

"I've been a little sick lately. Not used to this new place, I guess. I kinda miss home. My parents' home, I mean. I've lived there all my life, y'know? I just miss it, and my friends, and everything. But hey, I'm gonna be positive. Things are great. I actually vlogged a little bit with my friend Changmin the other day, so... Sorry I don't have a real video for you, but I'll give you that footage, at least. I've got another ASMR video coming soon, once I get my mics set up in this new apartment. Maybe next week. Okay! Enjoy. Bye, guys!"

Without even a transition, the video cuts to an iPhone shot of Changmin crouching down in the aisle of a makeup store, picking through a drawer full of lipsticks. He looks up and laughs. "Are you filming me?"

"Yeah, tell the world what you're doing," Chanhee says from behind the camera.

"I'm picking out some colors for Chanheeeee," Changmin replies, grinning. "Since he liked the last lipstick I gave him so much, I figured he should have some variety."

"Hey!" Chanhee says, but Kevin can hear the smile in his voice. "I want something vibrant, okay? Like, red. Maybe plum."

"If you're gonna be macking on boys, maybe we should get a brand that doesn't transfer so much."

The camera flips around to a close angle on Chanhee's face. He's wearing a baseball cap and a white hoodie, and there's a bit of a five o' clock shadow on his chin. It's a little strange to see him looking so rugged. "I don't even know what that means," he says.

Changmin draws his attention as he explains about lipstick rubbing off, but Chanhee doesn't move the camera from his face. It's a candid moment, a brief few seconds he forgot he was filming himself, and Kevin wants so badly to reach out and touch him.

He wouldn't mind Chanhee's lipstick transferring onto his own lips.

The video cuts again and this time it's Changmin's filming. They're at a mall, sitting in a food court, and there's a couple of salads on the table between them. "I'm introducing Chanhee to the Seoul lifestyle," he says. "Vegan, gluten free, all that crap."

"I wanted _galbi_ , honestly," Chanhee groans, but he eagerly shoves a bite of the salad into his mouth. "Wait, are you filming me? Stop!"

Kevin laughs because Chanhee is laughing, and the camera shakes with Changmin's echoing chuckles. "We'll get desert after this, I promise."

"Nope, I'm committed now," Chanhee says haughtily. He shrugs his shoulders and twirls his fork in the air. "I'm gonna be a skinny Seoul girl."

"You're already a skinny girl. We're getting ice cream."

The bit ends abruptly and Chanhee looks past the camera to Changmin, his eyebrows lifted as the thought strikes him. "I need a new pair of sunglasses while we're—"

The video cuts again. It's a shot of Chanhee's hand as he brushes his fingers through a rack of colorful fur coats in a department store. In the background, Kevin hears Changmin's muffled voice.

"—he ecognized me but he said it was from your video, and I was like—"

Chanhee turns, asking, "Was he cute?" He lets the camera drop and then then the vlog is over before it catches Changmin's reply, leaving Kevin staring at his computer screen with his heart in his throat.

*

Kevin's wandering the aisles, desperately hoping to run into someone who can answer his question before he drops the armful of shit he thought he could manage without a shopping cart. He rounds the corner and spots someone in a black shirt kneeling on the floor, digging around on the bottom shelf.

"Hey, do you know if—" The person turns to look up at him, and it's not a sales associate. It's _Chanhee_. Chanhee is right here, in front of him. On his knees. There's a boxed microphone resting on his lap. Kevin falters and something slips from his grasp, tumbling over his elbow.

Chanhee catches it. He gets to his feet and tucks the pack of batteries back into Kevin's arms with a grin.

"Chanhee," Kevin breathes. He shakes his head slightly. "I'm sorry, I thought you worked here."

"I practically do, at this point," Chanhee replies. "I'm trying to set up a little home recording studio, but I keep thinking of more things I absolutely must have."

Before Kevin can come up with an intelligent reply--Chanhee looks stunning in real life, and his eyes are so piercing but also inviting—Chanhee gives him a stricken glance and asks, "I'm sorry, have we met? I'm awful at remembering faces, I'm so sorry..."

"No, you're fine, we haven't met," Kevin hurries to assure him.

"Then how did you..." Comprehension dawns on Chanhee's face like ink blotting on paper. He narrows his eyes at Kevin, gives him a slow, sly smile. "You're the guy, aren't you? The tall cute guy from the party who recognized Changmin."

"I'm Kevin." His ears are burning hot with embarrassment. There's no recovery now. He has to commit.

"I'm Chanhee. I'd shake your hand, but yours look kinda full. You're way hotter than Changmin described you, by the way."

That surprises a smile out of Kevin. "Thanks," he says. "Uh, so are you. I mean, more beautiful in person."

It's Chanhee's turn to blush. The pink stain in his cheeks is pretty adorable on him. "I've never met someone who's watched my videos," he says; "I'm surprised anyone does, to be honest. They're pretty shitty."

"No, they're great," Kevin gushes. "I've watched you for years."

The creepiness of that statement hits him like a ton of bricks a few seconds too late, but before he can retract it and bow out of the conversation, Chanhee is beaming at him and saying, "Well, you have me at a disadvantage. Maybe we could, uh...get dinner sometimes, and you can tell me about your life? Just so we're on even footing."

The awkwardness melts away and Kevin gives him a genuine smile. For years, he's wanted nothing more than to get to know the man behind the grainy videos, and now--this is his chance. Chanhee's brilliant, satisfied smile provides all the quiet confidence he needs.

"That'd be amazing."

**Author's Note:**

> i just learned that changmin grew up in cheongju so uh ignore that! also you can tell i kinda gave up halfway through but i loved the idea of vlogger chanhee so much and needed to get it off my chest


End file.
